Tag Archives: pictures

DIY Jacuzzi Hot Tub Fails

19 Nov

I work at a website which, among other things, helps people buy hot tubs. Along the way, I’ve learned a couple of things about hot tubs that I wish I never knew. Firstly, “hot tub girl” is the most searched for phrase in Google in relation to hot tubs in general. Second, I stumbled across a girl who killed her baby in a hot tub, possibly after skipping several important English classes. Thirdly, it seems that public Health class curriculum does not include Safe Hot Tub Sex, as quite a few people seem to be Googling the sh*t out of hot tubs and STDs.’ Lastly, in that typically American way, there seems to be much interest in the hot tub world for DIY hot tubs. Yes, there are actually people out there who make their pickup truck into a hot tub using a garden hose, engine exhaust, and a pinch of redneck. Which leads me to… the ten most epic DIY hot tub fails.

1. Equal ratio hot tub fail

hot tub party

2. Flammable synthetic material fail

hot tub fail

3. Redneck soup fail

redneck fail

4. Homeless fail

homeless fail

5. Cute girl fail

wooden hot tub

6. Supportive beam fail

epic hot tub fail

7. Sobriety fail

sobriety fail

8. Hot tub home fail

hot tub family fail

9. Match.com fail

Match.com fail

10. Threesome fail

Threesome fail

Kindly excuse me while I drop some free hot tub PR for the site I work for… Now git yer hot tub prices, ya hear?

CASTING CALL for Average/Disappointing Bodies

28 Jul

CASTING CALL — Males & Female Models ALL AGES — $200 to $1000/day (Burlington)

Date: 2010-07-25, 3:08PM PDT

Reply to: job-swjp-1979722@craigslist.org

We are a camping supply website seeking fresh faces to model our new product line.
Must have photogenic facial features; ‘average’ or ‘disappointing’ body is okay**
No experience necessary, please email two or more headshots to info@vtarmynavy.com
Examples of past model work wearing our past styles are below
**We also have opportunities for ‘somewhat presentable’ bodies; please scroll down**

awkward family

The "Questionable Relationship"

awkward

The "Ninja"

emo kid

The "Zoloft 125 mg"

awkward couple

The "Contraceptive"

the unborn

The "Unborn"

apocalypse

The "Apocalypse"

one time in college

The "No One Hears About this at the Office, Ken, I Mean No One"

Or perhaps you think you think you have what it takes to be a poncho model. If so, please send us two or more body shots in addition to your two or more headshots ****PLEASE NO NUDITY, WE ARE A FAMILY COMPANY****

Examples of past poncho model work is below

the handlebar hero

The "Handlebar Hero"

the mean streets

The "Mean Streets of Burlington Vermont"

ridiculous

The "Ruthless Shoveler -What Is That Guy Doing with the Flashlight"

funny

The "Door-to-door TV Salesman"

the kute kid kape

The "Kute Kid Kape (KKK)"

gigolo

The "Gigolo"

ugly jacket

The "Lunchroom Target"

  • Compensation: $200 to $1000 for the day. Shoot compensation to be negotiated.
  • Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
  • Please, no phone calls about this job!
  • Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

									

The Hangover, JPEG Style

3 Mar

Welcome to the JPEG edition of The Hangover. See if you can piece together the explosion that was this past weekend.

The End

Shootin’ a Movie

27 Mar

You may have noticed a lack of me writing lately. I’ve been busy getting C’s in biology, interviewing for a fictional job, and shooting a movie with my friends for Campus Moviefest at my college. Here are some pictures; I’ll throw the movie on Youtube by Monday. I won’t tell you what it’s about yet so you might have to piece it together from the pictures…

picture-13

picture-7

picture-15

picture-21

picture-1

Basically, they lent us an HD video camera, a MacBook Pro w/ iMovie and FinalCut (which is a mystery to me and I don’t intend to solve it), two new Samsung phones (which I’ve been using to buy ringtones, call people, and probably try to call my cousin in England), and a tripod. AND we can win prizes. They spoiled us. The movie can only be five minutes and we only get 6 days to complete it. Including editing. PHEW.

With all this excitement, I’ve pretty much blown off all my schoolwork, which is only Calculus problems – let’s face it, I go to a state school. It is what it is. :)

So I’ll post the full movie on Youtube by Sunday. Oh, it’s a comedy. Obviously.

Cheap-Ass Travel

8 Feb

If you have no money (like me), the best way to travel is to do resort work. Tons of resorts across the US and abroad need seasonal workers, and to attract us they offer sick benefits. At this job, we got to use powerboats for free and for as long as we wanted, we used wakeboards/waterskis/tubes/kayaks for free, we got a discount on the gas (which, split between 4 people ends up being $16 for an entire day of wakeboarding – basically free), and we got to go on tons of free employee trips to tourist spots. Oh, and housing was $50 a month, meals were Welfare-cheap, and they even gave us a free week on a houseboat if we finished out our contract. (I didn’t get to use mine because I live on the other side of the country.) This is the website that I and alot of other people have used to score jobs.

On that note, I’d like to begin showing off my next summer-job destination. Hopefully. They better love my application..

SUMMER 2009: THE NEXT FRONTIER

picture-3

Washington state, you’re SO HOT right now. If I was a gentle but slow giant named Lennie and you were a mouse, I’d keep you in my pocket and stroke you. Don’t get the literary joke?:

I haven’t even BEEN to Washington, but the Internet is making it look so damn sexy. Lock the door, unzip your jeans, and check out this national park porn, sponsored by 1-800-RED-HOTT:

olumpic-abbey-island-ruby-beach

Her name is Olympic National Park. She loves stretching out naked on an empty beach.. with or without you. Dial 9 now to talk to her.

olympic-mtns2

When Olympic National Park goes out with the girls, she’s fantasizing about you with your pants off. That’s her secret. Dial 9 now to talk to her.

olym20653

She’s living three separate lives. No one knows. Hear her secrets when you Dial 9 now to talk to Olympic National Park.

olym1040

Have you been a bad boy? Olympic National Park wants to teach you a lesson. A lesson you won’t forget. Dial 9 now to talk to her.

1-800-RED-HOTT

“Where local girls go wild”

Now that I’ve gotten you all hot and bothered, let’s talk about Presidents.

It only makes sense that my boy Franklin Delano Roosevelt was the mastermind behind National Olympic Park. FACT: He was my favorite US President ever since I did a paper on him in the eleventh grade. You tha man, FDR. (IMO, Obama should ditch the $900 billion-dollar tax rebate crap and do what FDR did after the Depression – create a bunch of jobs with conservation projects.) <– That wasn’t very Escapist of me and I do apologize. Ish.

Lake Quinault Lodge is the place I hope to get a job at. They offer hiking, kayaking, fishing, and apparently the rest comes easy. Kind of like your mom.

picture-2

I’ve also applied at Stehekin Landing Resort in Washington (equally sexy), Sequoia/Kings Canyon in Fresno, California, and I did a general application for all Aramark resorts including the one pictured above. Lake Tahoe would be my second choice. A couple friends of mine worked there and loved it.

To be blunt, remaining in Massachusetts over the summer pretty much guarantees unemployment. So I’m escaping. :) <–shameless plug

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