Tag Archives: facebook

I have no problem with Rich Kids of Instagram

18 Aug

rich kids of instagram in front of mansion

Rich Kids of Instagram. I found out about this Tumblr on my Facebook newsfeed the other day, posted by one person who didn’t have anything to say about it, and another who commented with “Class warfare.. it’s real.”

Barf.

So what’s the media saying about the Rich Kids of Instagram?

I think there was a shortage of fear-mongering social media news stories this week, so TODAY Moms had to spin this Tumblr blog into a public service announcement for “keeping kids safe on the Internet.” Just to add to the stack of 5,345,320,220 other articles that have been written about it since the dawn of AOL under 13 chat rooms.

The Atlantic nailed it by saying that we’re ALL narcissistic assholes on social media, so please, stop pointing fingers at the trust fund kids. They just want to have fun. And post high exposure pictures about it.

CNN quoted this guy as being representative of “disgust and anger”:

when I actually see it as a socially acceptable statement interrupted by an abrupt admission of envy. A+ for honesty!

People, people. We all saw the movie Blank Check in the 90s. Or at least I’m going to assume you did.

blank check 90s movie

This was a movie about an 11 year-old kid who got a blank check in the mail from his senile grandma, told his parents, and they told him to write in $5 or something lame like that. …..Parents. Shortly after, the kid somehow comes upon another blank check and this time around has learned that factoring parents into the equation = no fun. So he fills in “$1,000,000,” takes it to the bank, and cashes it. Then he buys a mansion and fills it up with 1,000 gigantic inflatable pool toys and race cars and such. He swims in cash; that’s all I remember about the movie, other than that he probably got caught in the end and gave back all the money.

And you LOVED that movie as a kid, didn’t you? Don’t deny it.

When that skinny 11 year old kid told his butler to get him another chocolate milk from the seat of his Star Trek inflatable captain’s chair in his in-ground pool, you were dying inside. Because you knew you’d be going to sleep tonight in your ordinary middle-class bunk bed and not a gold-plated race car. You hated your parents for not having offshore accounts and make up for their 80-hour workweeks by buying you tons of awesome shit.

You might hate to admit it, but you haven’t changed much since then. Sure, you might be “the 99%”, Democrat-registered, and owner of a minivan in a small suburb south of the city, but let’s get serious. If a couple million dollars suddenly appeared on your doorstep, you’d have no problem Tweeting about it. Same reason you expect a bonus each year in your paycheck, along with a raise. Everyone’s pursuing their own American Dream, give or take a few zero’s. Just sayin.

It’s about to get all cat lady up in here

20 Feb porn

Thanks to this blog, a photo of a mutual cat friend of mine has made it to the elite Facebook page The Tiniest Tiger; third in popularity only to  Adults Shorter than Danny Devito and OKCupid Red Heads. I’m really proud to be responsible for this huge feline accomplishment. Special thanks to Michael Bench who chose that photo over about 400 other photos of cats.

In the spirit of the moment, I’d like to share with you a collection of cat photos taken over May to August 2008, in Lake Powell, Arizona, when my cousin Jenn Berry and I tore up the Southwest and “worked” as watersports instructors. The kittens in the following photos are named Blackout and Beaver, siblings to Optimus Prime, Megatron, and other Transformers autobots and decepticons. So put your Tigger sweatshirt and elastic waistband jeans on because it’s about to get all cat lady up in here.

cat with tampon

Wow, way to be discreet with the feminine products.

oak leaf

porn

Ooh, caught you looking at porn.

cat swimming

Swimming lessons!

pervert

Sure, that’s normal.

blackout

Thanks for watching.

WORLD PREMIER: Building 19 Commercial

2 Aug

building 19

In case you missed it during the season 2 premier of MTV’s Jersey Shore, now you can watch the new Building 19® commercial on YouTube, a Girls with Guns ProductionGirls with Guns is a production company that produces local commercials for such mom-and-pop stores as “Walmart, Inc.” and “The Burger King.”

Want to be FIRST to hear about new Girls with Guns commercials? Want to see our portfolio of past work; the stuff that got us where we are today?

facebook pageBecome a Fan

Funniest Stuff on the Internet

19 Apr

I just got rejected from Zach Galifianakis on Facebook. Let me be more specific in saying that Facebook auto-replied my friend request by saying “This user has too many friends.” Well that settles that. I was really looking forward to reading his status updates about being in the “Chipped mirror department” at an auto repair shop in India.

The sad part is that I had put a lot of effort into my friend request message. It read something like this:

“Hi Zach. Seeing you carry an extra-large martini glass while in a bee hive wig in Tim and Eric’s Vokda Movies is probably one of the most memorable YouTube moments of 2009. Maybe even more memorable than watching that fat Avatar fan paint her face blue.”

And then I got rejected. But I started to think more about more about the YouTube videos that I come back to again and again, especially on days that decide to take the scenic route down Highway Awful. And why stop at YouTube videos? There are plenty of things on the web that my friends and I have watched religiously, and for lack of original material have quoted time and again. So I’ve decided to share with you my list of the funniest stuff on the Internet.

1. Drinking out of Cups. Guy takes acid then sits in the closet and gets recorded by his friend.

2. FU Penguin. “CHICKENS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO COCAINE…”

3. Worst Commercial Ever. Obviously fake due to the “Boston Proper” comment but still absolutely ridiculous.

4. Like a Boss Button. Thinking about the mile-long list of tedious, unnecessary work tasks ahead of you? Hit this button after you finish each one. Or watch Like a Boss on Youtube. Last semester I’d walk to my most hated business classes listening to this and it really got me amped up for 55 minutes of human resources.

5. FIRST! My best friend found this one back in the day. “Am I doing Satan’s work? Yes.”

6. Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! If you’re unfamiliar with Tim and Eric videos, I highly recommend watching Prices (oh, lay an egg) or The Snuggler featuring Zach Galifianakis.

7. Awkward Family Photos.

Submit your own, TODAY.

What are some of your favorites?

The Hangover, JPEG Style

3 Mar

Welcome to the JPEG edition of The Hangover. See if you can piece together the explosion that was this past weekend.

The End

Plane Crashes Into IRS Office in Austin, Texas

18 Feb

Being that it is tax season and the aircraft was a small one-man plane, if you do not see the irony in this you need to be

SHOT

Apparently the guy had tax problems and thought that the best possible way to end his financial troubles was to set his house on fire and fly his airplane into a government building. Please note that I will be forced to abandon all prior commitments when the poster-boy of logic and reasoning, Mr. Joe Stack, appears as a guest on The Colbert Report. You can Become a Fan of Joe Stack here.

FAILstatusupdate

9 Jan

I’m guessing college didn’t quite work out for Jess.

life-it-to-short

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