Little did you know, this blog rocketed out of Mother Internet’s vagina as a blog about airbrushing. I decided to rename it “Escapism,” due to the culturally irrelevant nature of the posts I write. (For example, the critically acclaimed* Ode to the Short-Haired Girl, and one of my personal favorites, Old People: THEY’RE EVERYWHERE.)
Lately I’ve been getting back to my airbrushing roots.
Back:
That’s a shark and a wave if you can’t tell:
For Hannah Mantana: THE MOVIE:
And now for the meat. Here’s a little ditty I wrote called “A Poem About Airbrushing.” It would be best to read it silently to the tune of “The Moment” by Kenny G.
A Poem About Airbrushing
Spray, paint, spray,
not on my fingernails or skin —
Spray on the fabric that is
literally
right under your nose.
Spray, paint, spray,
Decided to take the day off?
No paint today?
Oh, because I could have sworn
(sworn)
that merely five minutes ago
I loaded $10 worth of fabric paint into your little
chamber
of
death.
Spray, paint, spray,
Or better yet, fling ugly blobs of paint
at my blank canvas of a teeshirt.
REAL MATURE.
Spray, paint, spray,
Oh guess what?
my dad heard my cacophonous frustration with you today
and guess who’s getting a NEW airbrush gun
for her birthday?
That’s right – me!
I’m throwing you away. :)
For more pictures of stuff I’ve airbrushed…
I lost my airbrushing v-card to this tshirt, and I attended President Obama’s Inauguration wearing the hoodie in this post
*Not really
Escapism - A Humor Blog 
Blogs come out of the internet’s vagina? Way to ruin my image of blogs being delivered by storks wearing mailman hats in swaddling sheets in the storks mouth and into people’s chimneys.
^ This is what happens when Dad forgets to give Junior the birds and the bees talk…