Ode to The Short-Haired-Girl

7 Mar

short hair girl

Short-Haired-Girl, you have boldly chosen the road less traveled. Often mistaken for a lesbian, you alone hold the truth of your sexuality deep in your loins. In middle school, you’d hear the other girls whisper “Is that a boy or a girl?” And high school prom was quite the predicament, as short hair just doesn’t quite fit with a prom dress. So you didn’t go.

If they cut you, do you not bleed?


I have walked in your shoes, Short-Haired-Girl. I have listened to the heartfelt confessions of coworkers who thought that I was a Les solely because of my haircut. My ears have often been numb from being bare in the winter air. I have spent entire mornings lusting after my roommate’s hair elastics.



But I think we can both agree that it is all worth it. Hacking off my hair at 2 o’clock in the morning because I couldn’t sleep was liberating. For those few months I spent as a Short-Haired-Girl, my morning prep time was cut in half. There was also power in the ability to confuse others about my sexuality.

So Short-Haired-Girl, whether you like girls or not, you are beautiful. I have walked the road you travel every day. And I will think of you, Short-Haired-Girl, every time I get a bad haircut.


15 Responses to “Ode to The Short-Haired-Girl”

  1. Michael March 7, 2009 at 4:23 am #

    “you hold the truth of your sexuality deep in your loins”? At least it’s not clutched to their quivering bosoms.

  2. ummmmheyyyy March 7, 2009 at 4:33 am #

    Wouldn’t that be hotter?

  3. Ahmnodt Heare March 7, 2009 at 4:40 am #

    Short looks good on you. It matches your eyes.

  4. Michael March 7, 2009 at 4:44 am #

    I know a gal who has a mom blog, she called it “loinfruit” which was unintentionally hilarious, per the urban dictionary, until her mom pointed out the actual meaning of loinfruit, prompting a rebranding to “fruit of my loins”.

    Not relevant, but wanted to share that as it too was loin related.

  5. ummmmheyyyy March 7, 2009 at 2:56 pm #

    So my eyes look short. I get it.

    How could she not know the meaning?

  6. tannerleah March 7, 2009 at 3:46 pm #

    2 things. First, never listen to friends and family after you cut your hair. They are going to flat out lie and talk about another feature. “Wow, it really makes your eyes look pretty”. See? Not a damned word about your actual hair.

    Point two. Please only cut your hair short if you are under 30. It doesn’t look “flirty and cute” when you have lipstick creeping up the cracks of your lips from a lifetime of smoking Pall Malls and no hair to draw attention from it.

    My advice? Just tell people you were drunk or were caught in a meat grinder. Then, if they like it, you were just lucky. If they hate it, not really your fault.

  7. Michael March 7, 2009 at 10:43 pm #

    I had to look it up too! For me it’s because I’m innocent, I can only speculate that for her, possibly she had particularly attractive genetalia, which she used to produce her babies, and thought the name was catchy.

  8. arieldreyer March 2, 2010 at 3:55 pm #

    you look hotttttttt. ;)

  9. Scott Wright May 20, 2011 at 3:21 pm #

    She is cute, what does it matter what anybody else thinks.

  10. icescreammama August 21, 2012 at 12:12 am #

    had to read this, since i was on a hair kick. I appreciate you’re ode to those follicle-ly challenged. so amusing and you did look cute, but how much better is it now that you can pull it back in a thingee….? and sexy freedom is just a hair toss away. ;)

  11. Samantha McCormick August 21, 2012 at 12:13 am #

    In fleeting moments I miss having boy hair because it was edgy.. but I definitely love long hair now! :) But I still get a pang of jealousy whenever I see a girl with a cute face who can rock a boy-do.

  12. icescreammama August 21, 2012 at 12:23 am #

    i can appreciate that but you look fab. and my 4,7 and 10 year old would agree… unless you put it back in a ponytail.

  13. Samantha McCormick August 21, 2012 at 12:24 am #

    haha – thanks !! :)


  1. The Science of Cuteness: Part Two « Escapism - May 13, 2010

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