Tag Archives: new england

WORLD PREMIER: Building 19 Commercial

2 Aug

building 19

In case you missed it during the season 2 premier of MTV’s Jersey Shore, now you can watch the new Building 19® commercial on YouTube, a Girls with Guns ProductionGirls with Guns is a production company that produces local commercials for such mom-and-pop stores as “Walmart, Inc.” and “The Burger King.”

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It’s Carnie Time!

27 Sep

It’s that time of year again! The trees are turning orange, the air is brisk, and the Uggs are flying off the shelves. Yes, people, we have again entered state fair season.

Saturday night I paid $15 to get into The Big E, the biggest state fair in New England right in Western Mass.  What I actually got was the chance to peace out on societal norms for a night. Breath of fresh air, it was. Smelled like sausage.

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There is no other place where it is socially acceptable for a girl to shove three corndogs down her throat. (Well I’m sure there are some, I just haven’t been to them.) I watched as 15 year-old bastard children of carnies sadly dropped dough into vats of hot oil, struggling to earn their keep. A “M8K YOUR OWN SLUSH” cart failed to see the expansion of the 711 chain — but, paradoxically, people lined up all night to pay $5.95 for the same experience. My friends and I searched for 2 Girls 1 Cup on my cousin’s iPhone while standing in line for Fried Oreos — yet the thought of eating poop didn’t phase us when it came time to have an unofficial eating contest for the tasty, gooey-brown-center treats.

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Children on leashes, hick-couples handing over a buck to see “The World’s Biggest Pig,” a Bear Funhouse which hopefully didn’t contain a live bear, a horse show which I still have NO idea what the purpose was, fat people mowing down on steak hoagies. At the end of the night, a large splatter of vomit on the pavement was the icing on the cake.

Good times, good people; Fall has officially begun.

Contemporary Art Is Stupid

2 Mar

Contemporary art is not my cup of tea. Today at Boston’s Institute of Contemporary Art, I sat through a five-minute film of tar being poured over a pile of sugar cubes. That’s five minutes of my life that I’ve lost forever. I walked through a room that showcased a large plywood table with a bunch of crap on it. That’s half a room of heat wasted on an inanimate object. I even spent thirty seconds reading a caption next to a giant photograph of a pigeon, when my sister Jess gushed “That’s so cool, they took a picture of a pigeon in a studio – it symbolizes freedom in captivity” and I responded “Which is essentially the same thing as taking a picture of a goldfish in a bowl.” (And she laughed. I love that my sister can be deep but can laugh at herself.)

The Pigeon:

Two exhibits that were worth my time were Rania Matar’s black and white photography and a gigantic collection of Shepard Fairey’s street art, which has become a media/people -magnet.

But what I enjoyed most about visiting the Institute of Contemporary Art was not the art at all – it was the ocean.

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The ICA building juts out over the Atlantic Ocean. Walking through or sitting in the above space is trippy. It was especially trippy today, in this foggy, snowy weather.

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Here in New England, we have no choice but to find beauty in the bleak. For example, I’ve found the beauty in tonight’s Nor’easter: No Sunday night homework since there’s no class tomorrow. [crosses fingers]… And I suppose I find beauty in the bleakness of contemporary art when I laugh at the stupidness of it.

Do you need a laugh?

The Crap-On-A-Plywood-Table exhibit won a $25,000 award. FUCKING RIDICULOUS.

All photos are my own except #s 1 and 2. And yes, I’m back from my sabbatical. I guess I just can’t resist the instant gratification of having others read my words.

Getting Personal with Samantha

17 Feb

I apologize for skimping on the text lately. New England is boring me. I have travel fever, but I’m locked down by school and an ill-paying internship. And I don’t mean “ill” as in “That’s one ill muh fucka!”

I have been practicing various forms of escapism as a way to take my mind off of my mundane daily life. I have been reading this book:

which is very, very good (but the ultimate test will be   when I actually get to the city on March 8th.) I have been applying to summer jobs and internships. I have been jealously reading travel blogs, my favorite one as of late being Nomadic Matt, written by a guy that did the college thing, got his Masters, got a job, then quit everything and became a gypsy. A gypsy that owns a laptop and updates frequently from the road.

I have also been enjoying the company of this handsome fellow:

Last, I spend most showers and commutes fantasizing about future  occupations, most of them associated with travel. Oh man that sounds pathetic. Oh well. The most recurring occupational fantasies are

1. Me as Host of a TV show on the Travel Channel

<–Optional slogan: ‘Sit at home and watch people travel on TV’

2. Me as a Writer for a TV show on the Travel Channel (which leads to imagining a life of poverty and frequent writers’ strikes, not to mention getting taken advantage of by everyone in a suit – hey, isn’t that what happens? & THAT’s why I’m getting a business degree instead of an English degree)

3. Me as Author of assorted nonfiction bestsellers (don’t worry – I would NEVER curse the world with a book as shitty as Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People)

4. Me as a Camerawoman for Anthony Bourdain’s show on the Travel Channel

<–“You’re a little close”

5. Me taking over Samantha Brown’s job on the Travel Channel (Let’s face it. Eventually she’ll age out of hosting)

It’s okay, I hate New England too—->

5. Me as Vice President of Viacom (you know, the keyholder to Comedy Central, MTV, VH1, Nickelodeon, Paramount Pictures, etc.)

6. Me as Marketing Extraordinaire for Viacom

7. Me as a Travel Writer (I suppose freelancing is a start..)

I’ll stop at seven.

My next trip is Brooklyn/Manhattan from March 8th – 12th. I haven’t written my Manhattan entry yet because I’m still planning the itinerary. (Yea, I’m one of those people.)

I just hate the thought of coming back home. :(

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