Tag Archives: fuck you penguin

Funniest Stuff on the Internet

19 Apr

I just got rejected from Zach Galifianakis on Facebook. Let me be more specific in saying that Facebook auto-replied my friend request by saying “This user has too many friends.” Well that settles that. I was really looking forward to reading his status updates about being in the “Chipped mirror department” at an auto repair shop in India.

The sad part is that I had put a lot of effort into my friend request message. It read something like this:

“Hi Zach. Seeing you carry an extra-large martini glass while in a bee hive wig in Tim and Eric’s Vokda Movies is probably one of the most memorable YouTube moments of 2009. Maybe even more memorable than watching that fat Avatar fan paint her face blue.”

And then I got rejected. But I started to think more about more about the YouTube videos that I come back to again and again, especially on days that decide to take the scenic route down Highway Awful. And why stop at YouTube videos? There are plenty of things on the web that my friends and I have watched religiously, and for lack of original material have quoted time and again. So I’ve decided to share with you my list of the funniest stuff on the Internet.

1. Drinking out of Cups. Guy takes acid then sits in the closet and gets recorded by his friend.

2. FU Penguin. “CHICKENS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO COCAINE…”

3. Worst Commercial Ever. Obviously fake due to the “Boston Proper” comment but still absolutely ridiculous.

4. Like a Boss Button. Thinking about the mile-long list of tedious, unnecessary work tasks ahead of you? Hit this button after you finish each one. Or watch Like a Boss on Youtube. Last semester I’d walk to my most hated business classes listening to this and it really got me amped up for 55 minutes of human resources.

5. FIRST! My best friend found this one back in the day. “Am I doing Satan’s work? Yes.”

6. Tim and Eric Awesome Show,¬†Great Job! If you’re unfamiliar with Tim and Eric videos, I highly recommend watching Prices (oh, lay an egg) or The Snuggler featuring Zach Galifianakis.

7. Awkward Family Photos.

Submit your own, TODAY.

What are some of your favorites?

Open Letter to the Birds that Took Down Flight 1549

24 Jan
Looks like the perps fled the scene ..pussies

Dear Birds,

Looks like your little terrorist attack on Flight 1549 backfired. Immediately following your poorly planned air strike, journalists declared Sully the Pilot a national hero, and even President Obama briefly considered changing career paths in favor of aviation school.

Admit it, birds. You’re just jealous that “iron birds” get all the fame and fortune. Well, let us know when you figure out a way to carve out your little stomachs into a fuselage with ample legroom. Because let’s get serious. You’re pretty much useless. If you’re not lying next to my mashed potatoes or endorsing Rogaine in front of the American flag, get out of my country. Or at least pay taxes.

This guy's swimmin in women with they own condiminiums

Who dat

Oh – one last thing. Thank you for lowering airline rates. Screw “the economy” or “profit loss” – we both know that airlines are cutting prices because of you. Which is good for me, because now I don’t have to spend 4 hours on the Fung Wah bus to New York, inhaling the cocktail of body odors emitting from each plastic-bag-carrying passenger. Instead, I can bank on a brief flight to NYC, perhaps an altercation with one of your kind mid-air, and at the very worst, a layover in the Hudson River.

Best wishes for your future FAILendeavors,

Samantha

%d bloggers like this: