Is Etsy.com a Front for a Celebrity Clone Project?

Etsy.com has blown its cover. Once thought to be a retail space for handmade items, the public now has reason to believe that the website is an Internet-based government project focused on experimenting with the genes of once-famous celebrities.

Top authorities are now actively searching in the Beverly Hills area for a rumored ‘black market’ where local celebrities auction off their DNA for cold, hard cash. Authorities believe that unlicensed amateur scientists use the celebrities’ DNA to perform clone experiments, some of these clones ending up as models on Etsy.com.

The evidence below is what has recently been uncovered from Etsy.com.

Subject No. 1000328

Authorities have reason to believe Subject No. 1000328 has been derived from the DNA of

Corey Feldman.

Subject No. 1000746

Authorities have reason to believe that Subject No. 1000746  is an unfortunate result of the malicious DNA tampering of

Mickey Rooney

If you have any information on this crime, please contact Boston’s Fox News Tip Line at 1-888-411-TIPS.