Vicious Criminal on the Run

8 Apr


APRIL 8th, 2009 New Haven, CONNECTICUT Police have released this likeness of Stick Stickley, 21, who fled the scene after allegedly assaulting his pregnant 15 year-old girlfriend, whose name has been undisclosed for privacy.

Mr. Stickley was last seen at about 7:30 pm on Tuesday night. A witness to the crime, Chalky Studebaker, 28, described the violent scene that he watched from his front porch:

“There was yelling, she was crying, she covered her face, and he kicked her in the stomach, over, and over, and over… it was horrible. The worst part is, he was smiling the entire time. I’ll never erase that vicious grin from my mind…”

After performing a search at his former address, authorities have concluded that Mr. Stickley is in possession of his deceased father’s 9mm handgun.

Police are requesting that anyone with information on the whereabouts of Stick Stickley come forward.


7 Responses to “Vicious Criminal on the Run”

  1. Megan April 10, 2009 at 2:33 am #

    omg you’re my hero aaaahahaha!

  2. ummmmheyyyy April 10, 2009 at 4:56 pm #

    thanks – I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again – who can possibly trust a guy with red googley eyes?

  3. Megan April 14, 2009 at 2:50 am #

    yea i mean…aren’t “normal” googley eyes black?…he’s defo a creepah

  4. Megan April 14, 2009 at 2:51 am #

    oh and how the EFF do i change my lil icon guy…i’m def not a purple blob with green hair, bat wings and a tail…or am i?

  5. Peter Clarke October 19, 2009 at 4:46 am #

    Is the 15 year old Holly B. Wood? She always looked too young for television.

    I Stick hides out in good ol’ P.O. box 963.

  6. sweettater December 2, 2009 at 8:08 pm #

    oh my fuck… glorious. my brother and i used to make stick stickly rip off shows called (are you ready?) stu stickly…

  7. ummmmheyyyy December 6, 2009 at 10:30 pm #

    haha I wish I did that.. one time I made a KABLAAM! ripoff.

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