Happy Valentine’s Day!
About a month ago, I found a really great website that allows anyone with an Internet connection to type in text, wait as the words go through a magical Internet machine, and marvel at their own personalized virtual candy heart. Yea, that part’s cool and all. But the best part of the website is that it shows a smattering of other peoples’ creations.
Here are my favorites. They’re awkward as fuck.
Who needs face-t0-face confrontation when you can tell her that she’s a prude with a candy heart?
Okay that just makes me think of nieces in pieces, which makes me imagine ‘U’ dragging your nieces by the hair through the woods and hacking them to death with a machete. Happy Valentine’s Day.
Heart Skin must be a delicacy where you come from. Or, you’re planning on eating your girlfriend tonight. Either way, I’m concerned.
Hm. Seem to have “lost” all the ‘Luv Ya’ and ‘Fax Me’ hearts..
What I’m really trying to say is don’t ever call me.
Turn the u upside-down……..sounds crazy but it
might just work
Red lettering on black, yes, yes, it works, it really works……….
So dirty that I made you this e-candy heart on the Internet. SO DIRTY. Maybe tonight we can hook up the webcams and cyber.
Convert to Catholicism, TODAY!
Come on, I’ve always wanted to try it. Really? You’ll do it? – – I think you bend over and I do a C-shape with my arms and legs – – No not like that – – No that hurts – – OW MARTHA YOU’RE HURTING ME
Wait it was 69? GODDAMMIT
Here is the website. Just keep hitting Refresh. I will probably spend tonight lurking the shit out of it, as I already celebrated Valentine’s Day with my own 83 partner on Thursday. (It was a two-occasion affair, being Lincoln’s birthday and all.)
On that note, GET LAID and DRIVE SAFELY! (In that order.)