The natural way to get high

9 Feb

Why taint your pee when you can feel high by staying awake longer than recommended? Say no to drugs. Instead, try

Stayingawakelongerthanrecommended®

It’s the natural way to get high!


Here’s what they said about Stayingawakelongerthanrecommended®.

Lewis Carroll, author of Alice in Wonderland

lewis-carroll

“I always thought that I’d have to carry on the family business of polishing containers. Then one day I stumbled upon Stayingawakelongerthanrecommended®. I instantly found myself pulling in serious quid by writing about hookah-smoking caterpillers and dancing turtles! If only we Carroll’s had found out about it sooner…”

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Richard Thalheimer, Founder of The Sharper Image
sharper-image-founder

“After I got my engineering degree at MIT, I felt lost. Day in and day out, I would build solar panels, water filters; you know, things that advanced humankind. Meanwhile, I was riding a Huffy to work, and dining on Ramen noodles… Then a friend at work told me about Stayingawakelongerthanrecommended®. Since that moment, I’ve never looked back!”

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The authors of The Bible

thelastsupper “So we were all sitting around a table one night, right? John was all ‘We gotta leave a legacy behind, man. We’ve been touring the hillsides, getting manna and sweet virgin tail for years with our sick magic tricks. We should write a book!'”

What began as an instruction guide for bachelors soon became a cult classic. Legend has it that Jesus, the hippie of the B.C. era, began passing around Stayingawakelongerthanrecommended®, and within a week, the first draft of The Holy Bible was spreading like the plague across the Middle East.

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Still not convinced?

If history’s just not for you, take a look at the accomplishments of a more recently devoted Stayingawakelongerthanrecommended® fan.

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Meet the fan, writer for ummmmheyyyy.wordpress.com

n45405321_31567208_5580“And it the still when it to the reticulum, Golgi bodies. Ayyyyyyyyyy Stayingawakelongerthanrecommended®.”

Stayingawakelongerthanrecommended®

It’s the natural way to get high!

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Side effects may include headache, nausea, dizziness, lightheadedness, loss of balance, hives, impaired judgement, pain while urinating, unusual paleness, confusion, loss of interest in daily activities, tonsil enlargement, vision changes, hallucinations, increased pressure in the brain, inability to hold down solids, numbness, death.
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5 Responses to “The natural way to get high”

  1. Amanda February 11, 2009 at 1:32 am #

    This is actually quite true. funny thing.

    Natural way to feel high= stay awake for 24 hours or so

    Natural way to feel like your on acid= stay awake for a week.

    Learned it in sociology, not experience. swear.

  2. dctouristsandlocals February 11, 2009 at 4:30 pm #

    Any info on the influence of caffeine on this thing? Does it enhance the effects? Inquiring minds (with Starbucks card in hand) want to know.

  3. ummmmheyyyy February 12, 2009 at 4:53 am #

    4 out of 5 doctors say lay off the caffeine. Just stay awake when your body wants to go to bed. All the cool kids are doing it..

  4. Ahmnodt Heare February 14, 2009 at 4:42 am #

    Air deprivation in small quantities also does the trick. The secret is to not do it for too long.

  5. ummmmheyyyy February 14, 2009 at 4:56 am #

    It’s a secret that not many people know..

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