Looks like your little terrorist attack on Flight 1549 backfired. Immediately following your poorly planned air strike, journalists declared Sully the Pilot a national hero, and even President Obama briefly considered changing career paths in favor of aviation school.
Admit it, birds. You’re just jealous that “iron birds” get all the fame and fortune. Well, let us know when you figure out a way to carve out your little stomachs into a fuselage with ample legroom. Because let’s get serious. You’re pretty much useless. If you’re not lying next to my mashed potatoes or endorsing Rogaine in front of the American flag, get out of my country. Or at least pay taxes.
Oh – one last thing. Thank you for lowering airline rates. Screw “the economy” or “profit loss” – we both know that airlines are cutting prices because of you. Which is good for me, because now I don’t have to spend 4 hours on the Fung Wah bus to New York, inhaling the cocktail of body odors emitting from each plastic-bag-carrying passenger. Instead, I can bank on a brief flight to NYC, perhaps an altercation with one of your kind mid-air, and at the very worst, a layover in the Hudson River.
Best wishes for your future FAILendeavors,