It’s that time of year again! The trees are turning orange, the air is brisk, and the Uggs are flying off the shelves. Yes, people, we have again entered state fair season.
Saturday night I paid $15 to get into The Big E, the biggest state fair in New England right in Western Mass. What I actually got was the chance to peace out on societal norms for a night. Breath of fresh air, it was. Smelled like sausage.
There is no other place where it is socially acceptable for a girl to shove three corndogs down her throat. (Well I’m sure there are some, I just haven’t been to them.) I watched as 15 year-old bastard children of carnies sadly dropped dough into vats of hot oil, struggling to earn their keep. A “M8K YOUR OWN SLUSH” cart failed to see the expansion of the 711 chain — but, paradoxically, people lined up all night to pay $5.95 for the same experience. My friends and I searched for 2 Girls 1 Cup on my cousin’s iPhone while standing in line for Fried Oreos — yet the thought of eating poop didn’t phase us when it came time to have an unofficial eating contest for the tasty, gooey-brown-center treats.
Children on leashes, hick-couples handing over a buck to see “The World’s Biggest Pig,” a Bear Funhouse which hopefully didn’t contain a live bear, a horse show which I still have NO idea what the purpose was, fat people mowing down on steak hoagies. At the end of the night, a large splatter of vomit on the pavement was the icing on the cake.
Good times, good people; Fall has officially begun.
